Searching For Satisfaction

Posts Tagged ‘life

It’s been a pretty good week, which was much-needed after the miserable state that I was in just a few weeks ago. I’m not 100% but I’m feeling better.

So…Five Good Things That Happened In My Life This Week:

*I talked to my dad – may seem like a small thing, but for me it’s a big deal. My father and I were estranged for several years, but we reconnected & buried the hatchet when I was home last summer. Since then we’ve both made an effort to communicate & rebuild our relationship, and I’m very grateful to have my father’s presence in my life. We had a chat this weekend about some of the things I want to accomplish, and he was very supportive & had some great ideas for me.

* My big project is turning out to be a success – I came very close to quitting my job in February – like just packing up my stuff & throwing them the deuces, and this project was a big reason why. It’s been a trainwreck from the very beginning, and it got extremely bad, but since then it has gone much better. I managed to turn the project around & make it work, and now I’m finally getting good results. After all the stress of this project & the numerous hassles & hurdles, I’m proud of myself for making it through this very difficult project & literally kicking its ass.

* My new site is ready to go – I am so super excited to launch the new site next week. I’ve been working with a logo designer to design a logo for the new site, & I absolutely love it. Overall I love everything about the new site & I’m so excited to be blogging over there. This really is the culmination of the change that happened in my writing – I went from mostly random posts & not giving it much thought, to really being invested in my writing, my site & my brand. I hope that you guys love it as much as I do.

* I interviewed for a new job – the same day that I was interviewing technicians to work for me, I had my own interview for a new job. The job would be a promotion & a move into management, but I’m not sure I want it. I don’t want to make another bad move, like I did with my current job, so I don’t want to leap at the first job that comes my way. The interview went very well & they have invited me back for a final interview with the larger team.

*I kicked it with the homies – It’s been a long, cold winter, and I didn’t get to see my friends as much as I wanted to. Now that it’s warming up, we’re doing more activities. I spent some time kicking it with my friends SS & DN & it was good to catch up with them & hang out. It had been awhile, & I really missed them. I can’t wait to have another spring & summer of the antics with those two, plus some of my other friends.

Honorable mention – I reconnected with an old friend. I made a move, & it was received well. Things have picked up like we never were out of contact, & I’m happy about that. I missed my friend.

It’s been a good week. Hopefully next week will be even better 😉

 

People love advice. People definitely love to give advice, but they love asking for & receiving advice even more. I see it all the time, people constantly asking for advice, for everything from the big things (like what to do with their lives) to the little things (like what to have for lunch).

This constant demand for advice & affirmation drives me crazy.

It seems to me like people are just unwilling to even attempt to live their lives completely on their own, and figure it out as they go along. Most people need a cosigner on every decision they make in life. I guess this makes them feel like they are less likely to make a bad decision? Or maybe it gives them some security in knowing that if someone else cosigns on their decision & it goes badly, they aren’t solely to blame? Either way, some people go through their day without making a single decision 100% on their own.

One of my fave bloggers is Belle from A Belle In Brooklyn. She has a Formspring account, and it’s amazing to see how many “what should I do?”-type questions she receives. Complete strangers go to another stranger to figure out what to do in their career, education, personal relationships, etc. I’m curious about the people who ask for her advice – she doesn’t know them, and only gets a snippet of their situation. What is the motivation behind asking a complete stranger what your next life move should be? Are they looking for confirmation on what they were planning to do? Or are they really so lost & unable to make a decision that they would leave it up to a stranger?

What happened to the days of people learning from their experiences? Simply going out in the world, trying different things, and learning, essentially, “the hard way” sometimes? It seems as if everyone wants a road map & GPS directions on life! Even seemingly simple decisions such as what to have for lunch or if a dress is cute can’t be made unless a council of elders gives their blessing on the decision. Every life decision is made not by the person actually living that life, but by others.

What happened to trusting your instincts?

I know everyone asks for advice, including me. I’m too much of a thinker to not get counsel on what I deem important decisions, or when I encounter a problem that I don’t hold subject matter expertise in. But I don’t live my life requiring the cosign of others – for many things as long as I’m happy with it, I roll with it & the opinions of others don’t matter. In many areas of my life, I’ve learned to trust my instincts & tap into that side of myself & allow it to move me in the direction I should move. Do I make mistakes? Absolutely. But making mistakes is a part of life, and learning from experience is a part of the road map of life that I’m developing for myself.

No one else can live my life. The experiences of others are good, but at the end of the day, only I know what’s best for me. And my experience & circumstances can turn out completely different than someone else’s, which is why sometimes gathering advice is pointless. Too often people don’t trust their instincts & intuition, which is so vitally important.

Thoughts?

Time to start packing...

I started blogging here: Confessions of a Grad School Slave

I moved over here when my grad school blog didn’t fit anymore: Searching For Satisfaction

Then I did the WordPress migration: Black Girl Unlost

And now I’m excited to announce that I’m taking the next step – moving Black Girl Unlost to its own domain!

I am super duper psyched for this move. I didn’t know I could do it, but I made it happen and I can’t wait for you to join me on the new site.

#shoutout to my hosting company – Versatile Media Group! Much thanks to @jasonlanderson for all the help & support in making this dream of mine happen.

Need hosting, website design, banners, etc? Please check out Versatile Media Group & tell them Jubilance sent you 🙂

Be on the lookout for the official launch this week!

Remember those notes from back in the day? #nostalgia

I wasn’t gonna write about this at first but then I got dared, so…..

I’ve written before about having a crush, and even going out on a date with my Twitter crush, but I’ve never talked about being on the other side. To be honest, it’s been a minute since someone had a crush on me, at least a crush that I knew about. Last year one of my Twitter followers had a crush on me, and he wouldn’t tell me for the longest time. Instead he’d ask me questions & leave messages in my Formspring. Eventually he revealed his feelings, but also that he felt he wasn’t “ready” to deal with me quite yet, so I left it there.

The new crush is also from Twitter…what started from a convo about a shared love of Lucky Number Slevin morphed into the beginning of a new friendship. We’ve talked about a lot of things & so far he seems like a nice guy. I’m a little hesitant to dive in, I’m moreso interested in developing a friendship first. But it is very nice to be told nice things & have someone in your life that is really into you & not afraid to say it. 

It’s nice to be liked, desired, appreciated & admired. 🙂

Since last summer, when I first admitted to myself that I was unhappy in my career & needed a change, I’ve been considering the idea of going back to school. At various times I’ve been flip-flopping between a strong interest/desire to go back to school, and a strong aversion to additional schooling. Right now, I’m back on the “I might need to go back to school” side of the pendulum.

Currently I hold a BS and MS in chemistry. Lots of technical training, but that’s it. I’m very good technically at what I do, but now I have additional interests & areas that I want to master, that are way outside of my training. Areas like business development, entrepreneurship, finance, accounting, marketing, and management/HR. I’m not expecting to be an expert in all those areas, but right now I don’t even have a foundation in those areas, beyond what I’ve picked up in my almost 5 years in the corporate world. Right now I can’t really transition out of engineering & into the types of positions I want, because I only have a technical background, with no formal business training. In order to move out of engineering/sciences, which I desperately want to do, I either need some formal training, or someone to take a chance on me & allow me to learn on the job.

My ultimate goal is to own my own business – actually several businesses. I want to control my own destiny. I don’t mind hard-work at all, in fact, I enjoy it. But I want the fruit of those labors to directly benefit me, in more ways than simply a salary and benefits from an employer. If I’m going to give my effort and my time, I want it to be for me & mine, not simply to line the pockets of executives & investors. I won’t work 80-hour weeks for my current job, but I definitely will for my own business.

So why am I on the fence about going back for the MBA? Well there are a couple of factors. First, there is the money problem. I have more than enough student loan debt, and I am not interested in adding to it. In my perfect world, I wouldn’t have to pay a dime for my MBA, and I’d really like to make that happen. I am a realist & I know that’s hard to do, and that’s why I’m hesitant. One option is doing a part-time MBA program & utilizing a tuition reimbursement program through my employer. My current employer changed their tuition reimbursement program, and they now require a 5 year commitment AFTER the completion of the last class is completed, and with a 3-year program, that’s 8 years that I would have to stay #nobueno. So if I want to go the tuition reimbursement route, I have to change employers.

I’m also on the fence because of my age. I will be 29 in July, and if I decide to do a full-time program, the soonest I could begin is Fall 2012, and I would be 30. I’d graduate when I was 32. Do I really want to be in my 30s and back in school? Would I be deemed “too old”? Can I be a grown-up & go back to the life of a poor graduate student? I remember that life, and it was hard enough in my early 20’s. Now I have grown-up bills & responsibilities & I’m not sure if my finances can handle it. I’m not sure if my ego can handle being a 30+ year old graduate student.

My final hesitation about getting the MBA is simply if it is worth it. I know that I don’t want to be a cog in the corporate wheel for the rest of my life. I know I want to do my own thing & be my own boss. Will an MBA help me on that path, or will it simply train me to work for someone else & be a slave to a system that I’m desperate to escape from? I don’t want to spend 2-3 years and thousands of dollars on a piece of paper that won’t help me get to my ultimate goal. I don’t want to waste my time or my money, and I refuse to do so. I know that all the advice in the world won’t be able to guarantee that the time & money spent on an MBA is worth it in achieving my life goals…but it will help me decide whether or not I’m willing to take a chance on an MBA.

So here’s where I ask for advice…if you were in my position, what would you do? Given what I want to do, is an MBA worth it? Should I be worried about being a 30+ year old MBA student? And most important – any suggestions on how I can get my MBA paid for?

For the past two weeks, it’s felt like the beginning of spring here in Mpls. Snow was melting, it was warm enough to remove a layer of clothing (however it was NOT warm enough for the abundance of shorts & flipflops I saw the 2520’s rocking, but I digress…), birds were chirping, all that.

Yesterday it rained all day.

And then this morning I woke up to this:

#FML

I think I jinxed us all with that spring post yesterday.

All I know is, Spring 2011 better not be a repeat of Spring 2002, where it snowed on April 1 AND at the end of April! If that happens, I’m on the first flight back to Florida & yall know how much I hate that heat & humidity.

How’s the weather where you are? No “its 75 & sunny!” comments from the Southerners please!

The Internet, and connecting with people on it, has been apart of my life since the days of IRC and AOL chat rooms. In college, I discovered message boards, and the communities that resided within them. For the uninitiated, a message board is an environment where people can converse through posted messages. Many are organized around a particular theme – there’s a message board community for every topic under the sun, and even some communities that are solely for people to connect with each other.

My first message board experiences were as a silent reader – this was in my non-Greek days & I would lurk on a couple of Greek message boards, reading & soaking up information. Once I was able, I registered & dove right into the conversations. Over the years, I joined other message boards, including a gossip board, a couple of hair boards, and even a few “let’s just talk to each other” boards.

Every board is different, but one thing that always happens is the connection between members. Spend some time on a board, posting & reading, and eventually you’ll make some e-friends. Many people have been on the same boards for years, so inevitable for people to meet offline either one-on-one or at a meet-and-greet (MAG). At the very least, folks friend each other on FB, share emails and/or call/text each other. While friendships are made, conflict is also the norm. For every friend you made on a message board, you also found a font you couldn’t stand.

I’ve noticed that since I’ve been on Twitter, and since its explosion in popularity, my message board use has dwindled to virtually nothing. I used to be on message boards all day, everyday – talking, laughing, etc. It was a welcome diversion to the monotony of my day, and kept me entertained. We’d discuss everything, from mundane topics like what’s for dinner to the latest political controversy. Ladies shared beauty tips and men praised the latest cover of King magazine. And of course there would be those board-wide conflicts, with people instigating & laughing at all the drama.

Now, the antics of Twitter keeps me entertained.

It used to be that you had to invite your friends to a message board & encourage them to post, to get new blood on a site. If you didn’t like someone’s font or had beef, you either had to put them on ignore or leave the board entirely. With Twitter, interactions with new people occur quickly, thanks to retweets (RT’s), random conversations, trending topics (TT’s) and suggestions on who to follow. Somebody getting on your nerves? Unfollowing & blocking are quick & easy to do. Don’t want to unfollow them completely? Put them on mute for a while, thanks to several third-party services.

In a lot of ways Twitter functions like a message board, but in warp-speed. It’s constantly moving, even at 2AM. Everyone can participate in topics & discussions, thanks to trending topics (TT’s) and retweets. Information, ideas & opinions are shared so much faster, and are able to reach a much broader audience. And of course, people are able to develop connections on Twitter just like they were able to do on message boards. Many of my message boards friends are people who I chat with often on Twitter, and I’ve made connections with new people as well. Unlike a message board, Twitter isn’t insular – there are millions (if not billions) of people using it, with new members everyday. You can always find someone tweeting & talking about something interesting at any time of day or night.

Now that I’m a Twitter junkie, I’ve cut my message board time down considerably. I still lurk on a couple, but the entertainment value is no longer there. But I do think back to the years I spent as an active message board participant, and I appreciate that it allowed me to connect with some amazing people & make some great friends.

Were/are you a message board member? What communities did you post on? How do you think Twitter has affected the use of message boards?


The Blog

Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
twitter / Jubilance1922

Past Posts

The Red Pump Project