Searching For Satisfaction

Archive for the ‘life’ Category

 

People love advice. People definitely love to give advice, but they love asking for & receiving advice even more. I see it all the time, people constantly asking for advice, for everything from the big things (like what to do with their lives) to the little things (like what to have for lunch).

This constant demand for advice & affirmation drives me crazy.

It seems to me like people are just unwilling to even attempt to live their lives completely on their own, and figure it out as they go along. Most people need a cosigner on every decision they make in life. I guess this makes them feel like they are less likely to make a bad decision? Or maybe it gives them some security in knowing that if someone else cosigns on their decision & it goes badly, they aren’t solely to blame? Either way, some people go through their day without making a single decision 100% on their own.

One of my fave bloggers is Belle from A Belle In Brooklyn. She has a Formspring account, and it’s amazing to see how many “what should I do?”-type questions she receives. Complete strangers go to another stranger to figure out what to do in their career, education, personal relationships, etc. I’m curious about the people who ask for her advice – she doesn’t know them, and only gets a snippet of their situation. What is the motivation behind asking a complete stranger what your next life move should be? Are they looking for confirmation on what they were planning to do? Or are they really so lost & unable to make a decision that they would leave it up to a stranger?

What happened to the days of people learning from their experiences? Simply going out in the world, trying different things, and learning, essentially, “the hard way” sometimes? It seems as if everyone wants a road map & GPS directions on life! Even seemingly simple decisions such as what to have for lunch or if a dress is cute can’t be made unless a council of elders gives their blessing on the decision. Every life decision is made not by the person actually living that life, but by others.

What happened to trusting your instincts?

I know everyone asks for advice, including me. I’m too much of a thinker to not get counsel on what I deem important decisions, or when I encounter a problem that I don’t hold subject matter expertise in. But I don’t live my life requiring the cosign of others – for many things as long as I’m happy with it, I roll with it & the opinions of others don’t matter. In many areas of my life, I’ve learned to trust my instincts & tap into that side of myself & allow it to move me in the direction I should move. Do I make mistakes? Absolutely. But making mistakes is a part of life, and learning from experience is a part of the road map of life that I’m developing for myself.

No one else can live my life. The experiences of others are good, but at the end of the day, only I know what’s best for me. And my experience & circumstances can turn out completely different than someone else’s, which is why sometimes gathering advice is pointless. Too often people don’t trust their instincts & intuition, which is so vitally important.

Thoughts?

Last year, my friend EP told me all about the Primal lifestyle & I decided to try it out. Basically, its a low-carb lifestyle that emphasizes eating the way cavemen ate: lots of free-range/organic meats, veggies, healthy fats/oils, nuts/seeds & limited fruits & dairy. No processed food, no pasta, no bread, etc. I started eating that way & fell in love. So nowadays a cook a lot of Primal or Primal-based meals, and this is one of my favorites.

This is a recipe I found at Purely Primal, which is my favorite Primal recipe blog.

Because it’s a Primal recipe, this isn’t a traditional quesadilla in the sense that there is a tortilla. But there is chicken, veggies & plenty of cheese #yum.

You need:

  • Chicken breasts or tenderloins
  • Peppers – I like to use red, yellow and green (bell) peppers for color & flavor
  • 1 onion – you can eliminate or cut this back if you’re not an onion fan
  • Tomatoes – I like to use Roma tomatoes because they are easy to wedge
  • Shredded cheese – either cheddar or a Mexican blend
  • Cumin – for the chicken
  • Garlic powder – for the chicken
  • Chili powder – for the chicken
  • Paprika – for the chicken
  • Sea salt – for the chicken
  • Ground black pepper – for the chicken
  • Olive oil – for the chicken

Start by seasoning your chicken, cutting into strips if you’re using chicken breasts, and then saute over medium-high heat in the olive oil. Also, preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

While your chicken is cooking, chop your veggies. I cut everything into strips, and the tomatoes into wedges.

Once your chicken is done, grab a baking dish or a casserole dish. I use a ceramic baking dish I got from Ikea. Put the chicken down first as the first layer. Next layer on top your veggies, just make it all random.

Finally, sprinkle your shredded cheese on top. I add a lot of cheese cause I like it really cheesy, but use as little or as much as you want.

Now just pop it in your oven for 10-15 minutes, you just need to get your cheese melted & allow your veggies to cook a little bit.

You can serve this with salsa, sour cream & quacamole if you want – I don’t use any of that cause I find this recipe is delicious without them! Here’s my plate:


A quick an easy dinner on a weeknight, that’s actually good for you. Try it out!

 

Ever taken a Myers-Briggs Test?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a personality inventory questionnaire, and it’s often used as part of an overall job/career assessment. Knowing your Myers-Briggs type can help you figure out what careers you’re best suited for, as well as just give you general information about your personality, and your outlook on the world.

Myers-Briggs has 4 dichotomies:

  • Extraversion – Introversion
  • Sensing – Intuition
  • Thinking – Feeling
  • Judgement – Perception

How you score in each of the four dichotomies makes up your overall Myers-Briggs type, which is made up of letters from all four dichotomies. So for example, you’ll hear people refer to themselves as an ESTP or an INTJ.

I took the Myers-Briggs the other day, because the attorney mentioned it, and I realized that I hadn’t taken it since I was in high school. I knew I was an “E” given my super-extroverted nature, but I wasn’t sure about the rest of my type.

If you wanna take the Myers-Brigg, try this one: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

So what is Jubi’s type? I’m an ENFP, also known as a Champion, which fits under the Idealist grouping.

Champions are:

  • rare – only 3-4% of the population
  • very in touch with their emotions & the emotions of others
  • view life as a great drama & strive to have new experiences
  • very individualistic
  • often write or speak to share truth & knowledge with others
  • have strong intuitive powers
  • are observers & able to observe/read other people
  • are very good with people & have strong personal relationships
  • are very good in public, especially speaking in public
  • are spontaneous & dramatic

Champions often find careers as a counselor, teacher, writer, journalist, publicists, advertising execs, scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs, and inventors.

I’d say that my Myers-Briggs type describes me well ūüėČ I’m extremely extroverted; I draw my energy from other people and I love to socialize with others. I am a very emotional person; as I get older I’ve learned how to rely on my emotional intelligence & intuitions as it relates both my life & also in my dealings with other people. As many of my friend’s know, I’m an inquisitive person, and I love to study other people, either through questions or simply through observation. Spontaneity & the desire to constantly have new experiences are definitely a part of my personality.

As for the careers part, well let’s see…I’m currently I’m a scientist/engineer. Over the past few years (especially the last year) I’ve embraced the writer in me & discovered my voice. And my ultimate goal is to be an entrepreneur…looks like all of that fits right in with my personality type.

Have you ever done the Myers-Briggs? What’s your personality type? Does it describe you?

For the past two weeks, it’s felt like the beginning of spring here in Mpls. Snow was melting, it was warm enough to remove a layer of clothing (however it was NOT warm enough for the abundance of shorts & flipflops I saw the 2520’s rocking, but I digress…), birds were chirping, all that.

Yesterday it rained all day.

And then this morning I woke up to this:

#FML

I think I jinxed us all with that spring post yesterday.

All I know is, Spring 2011 better not be a repeat of Spring 2002, where it snowed on April 1 AND at the end of April! If that happens, I’m on the first flight back to Florida & yall know how much I hate that heat & humidity.

How’s the weather where you are? No “its 75 & sunny!” comments from the Southerners please!

The Internet, and connecting with people on it, has been apart of my life since the days of IRC and AOL chat rooms. In college, I discovered message boards, and the communities that resided within them. For the uninitiated, a message board is an environment where people can converse through posted messages. Many are organized around a particular theme – there’s a message board community for every topic under the sun, and even some communities that are solely for people to connect with each other.

My first message board experiences were as a silent reader – this was in my non-Greek days & I would lurk on a couple of Greek message boards, reading & soaking up information. Once I was able, I registered & dove right into the conversations. Over the years, I joined other message boards, including a gossip board, a couple of hair boards, and even a few “let’s just talk to each other” boards.

Every board is different, but one thing that always happens is the connection between members. Spend some time on a board, posting & reading, and eventually you’ll make some e-friends. Many people have been on the same boards for years, so inevitable for people to meet offline either one-on-one or at a meet-and-greet (MAG). At the very least, folks friend each other on FB, share emails and/or call/text each other. While friendships are made, conflict is also the norm. For every friend you made on a message board, you also found a font you couldn’t stand.

I’ve noticed that since I’ve been on Twitter, and since its explosion in popularity, my message board use has dwindled to virtually nothing. I used to be on message boards all day, everyday – talking, laughing, etc. It was a welcome diversion to the monotony of my day, and kept me entertained. We’d discuss everything, from mundane topics like what’s for dinner to the latest political controversy. Ladies shared beauty tips and men praised the latest cover of King magazine. And of course there would be those board-wide conflicts, with people instigating & laughing at all the drama.

Now, the antics of Twitter keeps me entertained.

It used to be that you had to invite your friends to a message board & encourage them to post, to get new blood on a site. If you didn’t like someone’s font or had beef, you either had to put them on ignore or leave the board entirely. With Twitter, interactions with new people occur quickly, thanks to retweets (RT’s), random conversations, trending topics (TT’s) and suggestions on who to follow. Somebody getting on your nerves? Unfollowing & blocking are quick & easy to do. Don’t want to unfollow them completely? Put them on mute for a while, thanks to several third-party services.

In a lot of ways Twitter functions like a message board, but in warp-speed. It’s constantly moving, even at 2AM. Everyone can participate in topics & discussions, thanks to trending topics (TT’s) and retweets. Information, ideas & opinions are shared so much faster, and are able to reach a much broader audience. And of course, people are able to develop connections on Twitter just like they were able to do on message boards. Many of my message boards friends are people who I chat with often on Twitter, and I’ve made connections with new people as well. Unlike a message board, Twitter isn’t insular – there are millions (if not billions) of people using it, with new members everyday. You can always find someone tweeting & talking about something interesting at any time of day or night.

Now that I’m a Twitter junkie, I’ve cut my message board time down considerably. I still lurk on a couple, but the entertainment value is no longer there. But I do think back to the years I spent as an active message board participant, and I appreciate that it allowed me to connect with some amazing people & make some great friends.

Were/are you a message board member? What communities did you post on? How do you think Twitter has affected the use of message boards?

Isn't it pretty?

It’s been one long-ass winter! The first snow hit Minneapolis at the beginning of November, and I swear it snowed every week! Just snow on top of snow on top of snow…not that I got a snow day or anything this year *sigh*. The worst part about this winter was that I had no one to keep me warm or entertain me during those numerous blizzards.

Minneapolis is the type of city that is just a joy in the spring & summer. It is a beautiful city to socialize in. See that picture up there? That’s really what it looks like in the spring, and I love love love it. Trees & flowers are in full bloom, bright green grass, birds are chirping, all that stuff. As it gets warmer, people come out of hibernation & really start to be social again. The rooftops & patios open, the lakes are packed with people, and every weekend there’s a festival or other outdoor social activity.

I’m definitely looking forward to another active spring & summer in Mpls. Last summer I practically lived on rooftops & patios, and at the various lakes in the Twin Cities. After a long cold never-ending winter, spring is more than overdue.

Are you looking forward to the spring? What are you looking forward to?

I was talking to my mom this week, and somehow the topic got on tattoos.¬†I was talking about what I wanted for my next one (yes I want a new tattoo already) and that’s when my mom said “I want a new tattoo too. On my wrist.”

0_o

Yall know I had to talk mom out of that one. I can’t cosign that at all. Especially because I have a wrist tattoo – what I look like with a tattoo in the same place my mom has one? Plus my mom is…well…a woman of a certain age, and I think after a certain point, you should just leave something to the young folks. Which leads me to…

¬†Jubi’s list of things older people should leave to the youngsters:

  • Getting new tattoos or piercings, especially in locations that cannot be covered – I love tattoos as much as the next person, but I equate them, and piercings, as a youthful indulgence. Tattoos in a location that isn’t easily covered really strike me as a youthful indulgence, often because those who get them don’t take into account how that tattoo can & will affect their future.With the exception of ear-piercing, piercings also have a youthful connotation to me, and I would be really surprised to see an older person with a new piercing, especially if it was a piercing that was uncommon.
  • Wearing super trendy clothing, especially if its short, tight, or loud – I love fashion & fashion¬†trends, but even at 28 I know there are some trends & items that are best left up to the tweens & teens. With age should come a more classic, timeless style of dress. Dressing too young for your age, especially when it’s ill-fitting¬†or exposes too much, often comes off as a desperate attempt to reclaim or hold onto one’s youth. Keep it classy & classic please. Not saying older people¬†should wear¬†highwater¬†pants & sensible shoes, but everything in¬†their closet shouldn’t come from Forever 21 or say Rocawear either. If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, feel free to visit Your Mom Is In The Club. Thank me later for the laughs.
  • Listening to only pop music, especially if its stuff that makes the 106&Park Top Ten every week – Am I the only one who is really surprised when you find out an older person loves popular music, and ignant¬†popular music at that? It just seems so….WRONG to me. Not saying folks should listen to old school music 24/7, but¬†I’m concerned when anyone over the age of 18 knows all the words to “No Hands” & thinks Drake is the epitome of classic music (before yall¬†start, yes I stan for Drake but he’s¬†nowhere near the end-all be-all in music for Jubi).¬†¬†
  • Being the oldest person in the club/lounge on a consistent basis – Going out is fine, I encourage everyone to enjoy themselves. But keep it age appropriate please. We’ve all been in the club & seen that person who is old enough to be our grandparent out kicking it, and it’s hella weird.

Ok, I was kinda tongue-in-cheek with this one, but kinda not. Call me ageist, but I think there’s some stuff that older folks just shouldn’t do. With age should come wisdom and maturity, at least a little bit, and I really just hate to see older folks doing the same dumb stuff that I see young people doing.

Am I wrong here? What things do you think older people should leave to the younger set?


The Blog

Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
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The Red Pump Project