Searching For Satisfaction

Protecting Myself Doesn’t Mean I’m A Hoe, It Means I’m Smart

Posted on: March 11, 2011


I’ve seen & heard some stupid dumb stuff in my day, but the absolutely stupidest thing I’ve ever heard (other than any song made by Waka Flocka Flame) is the assertion by some men that a woman who buys her own condoms, and carries them in her purse, is a hoe.

Really men?

I recognize that some of yall have a warped idea of female sexuality, of sexuality in general, and that you’re probably operating off some dysfunctional “Madonna-whore” complex when it comes to women. You probably think that a woman actually enjoying sex, wanting to have sex, etc is enough for a woman to be categorized as a hoe, harlot, loose, whatever. I don’t understand this thought process at all, but I recognize that its out there, and prevalent, especially among Black men.

But it’s 2011. Many of us don’t know a world without HIV and AIDS. Since our first days in sex ed, we’ve been taught how to use condoms and shown those scary videos of the symptoms of STI’s. *shudders* We’ve been told over and over again how you must have protected sex every.single.time. We know that it’s easier for a woman to contact HIV/AIDS than it is for a man, in heterosexual contact. We’ve heard the absolutely appalling statistics on the rates of infection for women and girls, especially Black women.

So why exactly does it make a woman a hoe to have her own condoms?

Is it the preparation factor? Going out and buying condoms implies that this woman is planning to have sex, right? And having one or two in her purse definitely means she’s planning on it right? Are women not supposed to plan for sex? Is it something that women should be cajoled or persuaded into?

I would think that a woman being prepared would be a plus. Let’s say something pops off but the man isn’t prepared; without her stash of condoms, they’d either be making a run to the store or going home frustrated to have some alone time, or being irresponsible by having sex with no condoms. I’d much rather be able to hump than go home frustrated, but that’s just me.

Another reason for female preparation – some women are allergic to latex, or simply prefer a certain brand of condom or style.

I’d really love to hear the rationale behind categorizing a woman who has her own condoms as a hoe. Can someone please explain this to me? Ladies, what are your thoughts on this?

Oh & btw, I keep a stash in my house. So if that makes me a hoe…#kanyeshrug

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11 Responses to "Protecting Myself Doesn’t Mean I’m A Hoe, It Means I’m Smart"

I TOTALLY agree with your post. Women aren’t supposed to be sexual creatures unless we’re given “permission” in our marriage bed. You know the whole “a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed.” We aren’t supposed to enjoy or, heaven forbid, ENCOURAGE sex.

Hmmm… Women have to GO THROUGH SO MUCH when it comes to enjoying sex, and sometimes end up not enjoying the sex…

Shame on these MEN…

I am glad I do not have to deal with this issue any longer. Would I consider the woman a hoe? No. Would I use the condom she provided? After checking it, maybe but I would lean towards my own preparation. Also, I have made that store run many a night.

I doubt you’d get an explanation from someone who felt this way. Unless they were trolling.

Fair enough. But it was worth asking, you never know…

She’s not a ho, but I wouldnt marry her.

Why? Can you elaborate please?

I would LOVE to hear your logic @MrBabyHands

Well, perhaps I should rephrase… afterall, nobody can predict who they’ll end up marrying in the future.

But if i’m looking for a wife, I’m looking for the type of woman who protects herself by being extremely picky and diligent about who she has sex with and the circumstances she allows herself to be in– to the point where the only person she’s sexing is her equally-committed man (who she has papers on).

And sure, she *could* carry condoms intended to only be used on said man. But I think the vast majority of people (men and women alike) who carry condoms on their person, are either single, hoing around, or at least open to the idea of a quick fling.

Dont get me wrong– using condoms is great. But i dont want the marry the type of woman who has sex all out the random.

low-mileage peens like low-mileage vajays. and condoms are clear indicators of frequent flyers.

That’s totally your right, but I think you’re making some assumptions here that aren’t founded. But whatever works for you #kanyeshrug

I actually think it’ll be dope to have a chick to be ready with her own stash. Nowadays with so many STDs going around, if I seen a chick with her own condoms, at least I know she bout safe sex…

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