Searching For Satisfaction

Get In Touch With Yourself…Literally

Posted on: December 16, 2010

How many of you masturbate?

I posed this question to my Twitter followers one night during my #twitterafterdark QOD session. For those uninitiated, #twitterafterdark, or #TAD, is for grown folks talk. So during #TAD QOD, we discuss a random sexual question that I pose to the Twitter masses.

I posed the question because I was randomly thinking about masturbation and whether folks do it, after reading this post on Until I Get Married. After I read it, I started thinking about people who don’t masturbate. To me, that’s like seeing a wooly mammoth on the street – it just does.not.compute. No masturbation? For why? I guess I could see it if you are having sex like everyday…but you aren’t fucking & you aren’t having alone time either? Yeah….that’s wack.

It’s generally assumed that men are masturbating regularly, and based on my #TAD QOD, that’s the case. As for the ladies…well there are some who still subscribe to the “ladies don’t do that” school of thought, while others will vigorously proclaim that they have regular alone time sessions. I fall in the latter – I love alone time, I find it necessary, whether I’m having regular sex or not. I couldn’t imagine NOT having alone time – that sounds like a miserable life.

The biggest reason why folks should be having alone is the obvious – your partner can’t please you if you don’t know how to please yourself. Masturbating, especially for women, helps you figure out what you like/don’t like, what techniques/areas are guaranteed to get you to the mountaintop, what techniques won’t even get you from base camp 1, and overall help you be more comfy with your body. When you comfy in your body, and confident in your ability to please both yourself & your partner, trust me, the sex gets way better.

Diving into masturbation can be scary, there are a ton of toys out there. I say, just jump right in. You can hit a brick&mortar store, attend a pleasure party, or do some discreet online shopping. There are a variety of different toys on the market, in various shapes, sizes, colors, materials, etc. Find something you’re comfy with and try it out. When its time, have some alone time when you’re comfy. When you first start, you will be inundated with sensations & before you know it, you’ll be an alone time pro.

For those of you who enjoy your alone time, don’t make it a chore. Switch it up a bit. Use a different hand (#chuckle) or pick up a new toy. Check out some new porn, there is a ton on the Internets, no need to pay for it if you don’t want to. Hell, pick up the phone & call someone – phone sex is fun too. Whatever you do, just have fun & be safe.

What’s your opinion about masturbation? For the folks that don’t have alone time, I’d really love to know why. Do you have a low sex drive? Find it nasty? Are you celibate & find it easier to not have alone time?  Discuss!


6 Responses to "Get In Touch With Yourself…Literally"

I masturbate regularly, even though I have a girlfriend who more than fills my needs, I enjoy masturbating, enjoy having the time for myself, enjoy exploring my own body and the way that it works. If I was asked by anyone I would recommend it immediately; masturbating isn’t a smutty pastime, it’s only smutty in the eyes of those who are too constricted in their outlook to realize that it brings much needed relief and can be a pleasure for those times when the partner either isn’t capable, isn’t there or whenever things get really hot!



As much as I would rather be discreet about such a private matter, I have to say that I definitely get it in. If I didin’t, I’d be on the news often being led away in cuffs due to backed up frustration and anger.

Aside from that, my drive is unusually high at certain times of the day/month/year. I have to something or else I’d implode.


i know quite a few women who swear up and down that they don’t masturbate. i always look at them with the side-eye. i know some women who have claimed to never have done it. life must suck for them. no pun intended.

I think that Masturbation is a healthy part of our lives whether we are in relationships or not. In order to know what makes your body tick or tickle you are the best guide or how to expert of yourself. Thanks for covering this topic.

its one of them situations where with me being in a long distance relationship it curbs those sexual urges that naturally come up…

My doctor told me I needed too

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Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
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