Searching For Satisfaction

Sorry Men, You Don’t Get To Dictate My Sexuality

Posted on: November 28, 2010

How come no one told me that last week was “Men are going to tell women what they can/should do with their bodies” week last week? Is that like a new holiday or something? Seemed like everyday there was some type of memo handed down. From who/when a woman to have sex, to making sure her panties & bra match, it was quite an informative week.

The events of last week really highlighted a core issue/problem for me – how pervasive patriarchal ideals (especially related to sexuality) are in Black culture & how many people, both male & female, buy into them.

My sexuality is my own. Its mine & no one can take it from me. No one can dictate to me what I should or should not, can or cannot do with my sexuality. The opinions of all others are not required nor desired. I live by my own standard & hold it only to myself. This is my own personal definition of sexual freedom – to live by my own standard, to choose for myself & to be accountable only to myself & whomever I’ve given my allegiance to. To some, this makes me a hoe/slut/tramp/etc #ohwell. The opinions of others about what I do with my body and with whom is immaterial to me.

Some of the men expressing their views may very well have had good intentions…but good intentions or not, its not a man’s place to tell women collectively, any woman individually, what her sexual definitions should be & what standards she should live by. Its simply not the place for anyone other than the individual woman & women as a collective.



5 Responses to "Sorry Men, You Don’t Get To Dictate My Sexuality"

While I agree a woman will do as she wishes in the bed room, other can decide what they will not associate with based on your actions

Absolutely. I never said that others had to accept or deal with it.

I’m simply saying that my behavior isn’t ruled by “what will so-and-so think of me if I do X?”.

This is the first I heard about this. This has to be a joke right?

We have talked about this before… We men love to control our women… If you look up monogamy, that was part of the plan…

Good Post… Really nothing insightful…

Any woman, I am thronxing, because I am the sex partner she will ever have, I will control her by default… If men really want to control women, well at least the women he wants… He has to give her legendary peen… nothing else will measure up…

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