Searching For Satisfaction

They Got Dating Sites For Everything Now

Posted on: November 18, 2010


I was having a convo with my friend ED yesterday, about women, men & money. Specifically we were discussing if women have a problem making more than their husband. Yes, its been talked to death, but it was an interesting convo. The most interesting part was a website he suggested I visit.

The site he sent me to was 40KandUp –  “A dating site for men who have more to offer and the women seeking them”.

So what is this site about?

40Kandup.com is a dating site set up to cater to women who know exactly what they want within a relationship and for men who have more to offer in life than just their time.

Let’s face it, money problems are one of the main issues in intimate relationships between men and women today. Couples separate and/or divorce all the time over accumulated money troubles.

Single women, why not seek out men who have more to offer? And you successful men out there, let the ladies know you are worth their while.

We only accept profiles from men who make 35K a year and above, so if you don’t fit the criteria, this website is not for you. Ladies, if you are searching for a man who possesses stability, then don’t hesitate to post a profile.

Yeah…I’mma let Wendy sum up how I fee abt  this sitel…

Let’s start with the aesthetics of the site. Who made this – some 10th grader in computer class? It looks so bootleg. The stock photos? The sparkly raindrop animation? The horrible pink text on the blue background? Yeah…all of that is a big fat #fail for whoever owns this thing. Not cute AT ALL.

Now to the actual premise of the site…For serious? $35K is a lot of money now? $35K is enough for a man to take care of a wife? When I think about living comfortably…I don’t think I can do it on $35k. Hell, I make WAY more than that now & I’m nowhere near comfortable. I wonder if they even verify that the men make the amount of money they claim…do you have to submit tax returns or something?

Not to mention, it’s so borderline gold diggerish, but in a bootleg way. Its one thing to go for men who work in high wealth fields, and it’s another to join a dating site that’s based on how much money someone makes…which has a low salary cut-off at that. It’s so comical.

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t desire a man who has the means to take care of her and their future children. Hell, I want that for myself. But this site? Yeah this site isn’t the way to go about it. Not only is the actual design of the site bootleg…but their criteria for acceptable men is skewed & misguided.

I gotta wonder abt anyone who is a member of this site.

Thoughts? Would you join a site like this?

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15 Responses to "They Got Dating Sites For Everything Now"

Here’s the thing, and I was thinking about this last night. My salary is in the over 40, under 50 range. I won’t say I am bougie or a snob, but I know what I can afford to do and places I can afford to go. I’ve tried to be open minded and date the men in a lower income range… Money. is. a. problem.

It becomes a negotiation… “You wanna go to X movie, Friday?” “I don’t know, movies are like $13 now, plus the gas money. Naw, I need to save for next week.” “What if I drive and pay for myself?” “Naw, I can’t let you do that. Let’s rent a movie instead. RedBox is only $1!”

Ugh. Cheap.

Okay it’s nice every once in awhile to have a movie night in, but I don’t want to date you on my couch! I have to ‘scale down’ what I like doing because I am with someone that can’t afford to do the same things, but feels weird about me paying. It gets so I go alone or with my girls to lunch at Houston’s and hang out with him and eat Taco Bell. Eat Cheerios and Froot Loops at home and “Sugar Cicles” and “Fruit Oh’s” at his. Don’t like it, and I start to resent him.

I once dated a guy that was just nuts about his gas tank. He NEVER went anywhere but he was always worried about gas prices. He started cutting out date nights because of the price of gas.

So, if it was well put together, sure. But I don’t know how they’d verify how much men make. It’s not that hard to lie.

But yeah that website is craptastic.

Girl please! This is a hot mess…and I really do think Wendy summed it up perfectly. I *heart* Wendy (1st season)!

Like Curvy, I’ve tried to be open-minded in the past but I learned that I was settling. I’m able to do certain things on my own so I really don’t want a guy who thinks the perfect date is bringing over a pizza and hitting up Netflix or RedBox. That’s a no-go! Here and there – sure. A date to me is one where we are both out and about, away from our respective homes. Otherwise we are just hanging friendship style.

And 35K = comfortable? Let’s define “comfortable” – Basically I’m not living check to check. I’m able to take care of the necessities while being able to enjoy some extras (example: last minute trip to visit you. You know how we do.) This could probably work in my home state of MS. But in the Sunshine State, get real. Please introduce me to a couple living off of 35K in FL.

Can you imagine the intrigue when I first heard of that website? (it was advertised on the Michael Baisden show) But I honestly couldn’t imagine the blatant thirst for a man to desire to sign up for this website to sponsor a woman. But I guess if you’re just looking for an up-front “agreement” then I guess it works for all parties involved. I don’t understand when a person’s time became so invaluable.

ok excuse my semi bougie because I read this like–wtf son? 35K isn’t a lot. at all. smh. I could see if it was 80Kandup, but 40k? GTFOOHWTBS. I haven’t even clicked on the link but from what you described, it aint my kinda party, anTyways… now if a guy made that, okay for him I wouldn’t diss him, but when considering a future husband we’d maybe have to generate another stream of income somehow if possible. I always say no matter what you make you can make things happen if you just plan and budget, so its workable I suppose. We already discussed what I consider “comfy” via the twittah. good post.

Peace,

Wow…and wow again. Although I definitely “qualify” many times over, sites like this make my head spin. Who actually took time to commission this piece of crap?

Anyway…I won’t get into the whole dynamic of how finances play a part in romantic relationships (they shouldn’t factor as much as people say). But I will state that people need to be a little more creative, a bit more proactive and certainly a touch more open-minded before they find themselves by themselves.

Peace,

Wise

http://www.twitter.com/wisemath

Men see these these comments and get discouraged, its hard enough dealing with self doubt and own personal insecurities about not being where you want financially but to see women speak of the potential problems dating men in that financial range is crazy…

Ill be transparent i dont make that much but i am VERY creative in my finances, and in the past i stayed away from dating all together because I felt since i didnt make 40+ i didnt have much to offer but the minute i realize what I did have to offer was FAR greater than money, I became ok with the situation i was in. And being ok with it gave me the confidence to be open to dating (long distance mind you) a WONDERFUL woman 2 years ago and through Gods grace and guidance me and my 30k year salary will be marrying in 2012 that same woman who in spite of making DOUBLE what i make loves me unconditionally and knows it is only temporary…

Ladies you have to let go of some of your hang-ups, see beyond the present moment and look to a mans VISION. Yes he may not make much NOW but if he has desires and goals to better himself I guarantee he will be better off overall than that many making 80 who is content in his “riches”

tangible things like money/status/jobs/homes can be added to or taken away in a blink of an eye but what will always stay with us is character, morals, integrity and love

I can appreciate your comment. You made some valid points.

I think the difference with your statements and my past experiences is that you are confident where you are and with what you make. You mentioned that you were creative…there’s a difference with being cheap and creative. You said you have a vision to which I applaud.
My past experiences haven’t been like that. I’ve dated guys who were insecure when it came to their finances in relation to what they THOUGHT I made. When many guys hear that I’m a SW engineer, they make assumptions of what they THINK I make. I rarely tell a guy what I make.
Maybe if the guys I’ve dated had taken your approach, things would have been different and my views/opinions would reflect those differences.

True, and if nothing more you (and a lot more women) have to take on the thoughtprocess that if they intimidated by what you have and scared to find out WHO you are they weren’t worth your time to begin with, and its best they scurry off with their tails between their legs in the beginning instead of 2/3 months in after you developed feelings…

Things like that are weeding our mechanisms. Like the saying goes “only the strong survive” and we all want men/women by our sides who are strong enough to endure what life has/is/will give you

good comment Q Crush. like LM said its all about the vision and the creativity. I’ve never had anyone really make assumptions on how much I make because I don’t really have a fancy title or profession where one might think “oh she’s rich” but I have dated tons of guys that were students–full and part time that had a range of salaries. it really depends on the person, the circumstances, and your station in life. Also, its really nobody’s business your salary unless y’all are about to get into a business/financial situation together. IMO. I don’t talk about money with people like that, but there are ways to glean a person’s level of fiscal responsibility.

Q_Crush pretty much hit the nail on the head for me. Anybody who thinks 35K is balling out of control is out of their mind. That said, where I am (Vegas), 35K is enough to live reasonably well. As a man that’s dated women who make less than, about the same, and currently double what I make, your dating situation–as it relates to my finances–is more about my state of mind. There are certain things that I can do and certain things that I can’t. One thing I can’t do is pick up the tab on dates all the time and I have no problem saying so. If my situation is too little for her, she’s free to move on to the next–we’ll both live.

To some degree, I can’t help but respect folks who are on dating web sites with super specifics. Folks always say if you know what you want go for it–and if you want a 35K sponsor, who am I to knock the hustle?

[…] reading a couple comments on a homegirl of mine blog blackgirlunlost about a unique blogging site, I decided to pull a letter I wrote in 2008, when I was at one of my […]

It’s hard enough finding a guy that you’re compatible with w/o adding this to the pool.

I know money is important to be comfortable in life, but salaries fluctuate constantly, you may have a 40k+ job today and lose it next week. Things like that shouldn’t make or break a possible relationship.

When you are dating someone, their character should be more important, because if you find someone with a strong work ethic, even if it’s not there now, the money will come. What if they’re making their 35k illegally?? Would that matter to you, or is the amount more important than the manner it’s obtained?

Personally, I’m going to find someone I’m compatible with on the personal level and help him get to where he wants to be financially if need be. People put WAY too much importance on this aspect of a relationship, imo. If you work hard, and do what you need to do, the money will come.

THANK YOU…

As far as the illegal part, we live in a culture of getting money any way you can get it… Movin’ on

Hmmm… I’m getting tired, so I will be concise

LOL… The site has been taken down… But my imagination made up for whatever F*ckery was on that site… Wendy summed it up well…

I LOVE WOMEN WHO ARE GOLDDIGGER up to a point…

We talked about this before … Young women should make babies with provider men, and cheat on ’em with RAY RAY & POOKIE…

I was told by Chris Rock that women will NOT go backward in lifestyle & men will NOT go backwards when it comes to sex…

So money & all of it benefits MATTER to women (if you are lame ass n*gga like I am/was)

I think love is the last thing alot of women are looking for IMHO, we already established than women are not really into respectful guys on a whole….

As for me… I want to become successful & financially well off (I am f*cked up at the moment)… But I would only do it for me… I have all the LEVERAGE in relationshps with women… So I can be a deadbeat dude & still date quality women (But I do provide value in exchange… Thank You…)

And although the site was tacky, at least they keepin it 100… #TeamHonesty

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Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
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