Searching For Satisfaction

Whats The Deal With….

Posted on: July 16, 2009


Black men and long hair?

Let me explain why I’m asking.

Back in April I got frustrated with my transition to natural hair and just did the big chop after 5 months. I had about 2 inches of length completely stretched, but in its shrunken state its pretty short, but with lots of curls and coils.

So these were the reactions I got from different groups:

*The majority of women from all races loved it. A couple chicks said they preferred my long hair, but all the other ladies thought my short hair suits me.

*White and Latino men overall liked the short hair. It was a different look that fit my face.

*But the Black men? Oooh, the Black men HATE MY SHORT HAIR! I can count on one hand the number of Black men who liked the short hair compared to the long relaxed hair I used to have. And the crazy thing is that when I was relaxed I wore my hair up every single day, I never wore it down, so you couldnt even see how long it was.

So the difference in reactions really made me think. What is it that makes most Black men prefer long hair? Is it a Eurocentric standard of beauty? A rejection of Black women and their kinks and coils? Brainwashing from “The Man”?

I think I’m cute with the long relaxed hair, the short relaxed hair, the short natural hair, and I’ll be cute with long natural hair. Its frustrating though to hear from so many Black men how they don’t like my hair and how they wished I hadn’t cut it and whatnot. Of course, their opinions arent going to make me run out and weave it up or relax again or anything. I went natural for me and I love my natural hair. Its just very interesting to see the new types of responses I get from Black men.

Anyone else ever had a similar experience? Can any fellas give me an explanation for the love of long hair?

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7 Responses to "Whats The Deal With…."

I believe a lot of it stems from the fact that many many black men buy into the white man’s standard of beauty. Not all but way too many of them for my liking. You do find a lot that love natural hair on black woman even if its short.

let me play devil’s advocate real quick. so black women don’t play into the white man’s standard of beauty?

personally i love short hair, natural hair, permed hair. really any hair as long as it’s yours.

Interesting post! I’d definitely say that most of the black men I know always made it a point to let me know ‘women should always have long hair’, ‘a woman’s hair is their beauty’ and stuff like that. I’ve only ever heard phrases like that from black men. An ex of mine (when I wanted to go natural years ago and considered cutting my hair to start afresh) begged me not to because he said he didn’t believe that women could be beautiful with short hair. I’m finally going back to natural now..this time forever but I always remember that and laugh. Blogged on my decision recently…do check it out> http://justyougirl.blogspot.com/2009/07/imma-stay-natural-forever.html

Actually I haven’t really had negative reactions from men. I still get the same amount of play when my hair was long and straight. When I do ask them they say it’s cool and they don’t mind. But some do say they liked my hair when it was long and straight. Women are a different story. Black women give me looks of confusion and interest. Some even make it a point to say how much they love their weaves (smh) maybe it’s b/c they see that natural hair does look fly and now they are starting to feel insecure.

I ask the same question. Black men have not said they prefer straight hair, but I notice the difference. I brought it to the attention of my mother after a girlfriend of mine and I went to a bball game in ATL. She and I have been out many times before(when I had long straight hair) and received equal attention; if not me getting more. I’m a superfox- hey! But when we went to the game it was as if I was not even there. I was full of confidence bc my hair was freshly colored and cut. That didn’t matter. I thought maybe it was the A but even being back in NY it’s been different. It’s like we’re labeled ‘that natural chick’ or ‘she must be a veggie’ or ‘she’s so black she must like white boys’, or my fav ‘she’s gotta be from BK and I don’t go there’ (I do like Brooklyn and I’m moving there but that’s not the point)

Basically, being natural has a stigma attached. It’s seems as though women with straight hair are assumed to fit a 360 mold; whereas we only fit a few; named above. Because I’m natural now doesn’t mean I’m not flyy or chic. Yet even in my best outfit I find myself feeling ignored. I’m still adjusting to it but I really took forward to a nice flat iron and curl! Lol.

Oh, and the texture of your natural hair matteres as well. Had I been born with my grandmothers ‘indian curly’ hair this convo would not even be happening. #failtotheslaveinme… Just kidding. I enjoy my double strand twists. Sally Richardson can’t do that! Ha!

Hi! I’m a white dude, but I think that men of every race, in general, prefer women with long hair. It’s simply beautiful and feminine on a lady. It moves, the scent is great, it’s soft, and we don’t like women who look like guys! RJ

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Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
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