Searching For Satisfaction

Another "Love Jones" blog post….I joined the club…

Posted on: August 17, 2007

So last night, my date and I discussed the movie “Love Jones” since both of us said it was one of our favorite movies. And I commented that the movie had ruined an entire generation of Black folks, especially Black women. Ruined how? Well, in a couple ways.

First, let’s look at the movie in general. Its a love story, but not your tradition “boy meets girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after with no drama” kinda love story. This is a love story that hits close to home, cause its so REAL. Its the kind of drama that we’ve all faced in our lives. You meet someone, you’re kinda reluctant to go out, but you do it anyway and have a great time. Sex is off the chain (cause I KNOW I’m not the only one that has humped on the first night) but you’re not ready to make it into real relationship yet. What’s holding you back? Maybe you wanna see if there’s something better out there, maybe you’re scared, maybe you just wanna hang out and see what happens, who knows. You play this little back and forth game even though you really like and care for each other, mostly because neither wants to “punk out” as I like to call it and put themselves and their heart on the line. But in the end, somebody has to put it on the line and does in order to make it work. So…..haven’t we ALL been in a similar situation? You meet someone, you like them, but you can’t put it all on the line for whatever reason? You gotta keep your options open even though what you really want to do is lock that person down.

Second, look at the characters. Everyone is cool and hip, but not trying too hard (with the exception of Bill Bellamy’s character Wood). Especially the men, and especially the main male character, Darius. He’s a writer, a poet, a cool motorcycle driving artsy renaissance man who is still fun to kick it with, and sexy as hell. Who DOESN’T want a man like that? But unlike the movies, these men can be hard to find. Instead you get a lot of men who are pretenders or just flat out not cool and pretty lame.

So women in my generation have spent years watching this movie (cause its gotta be about 10 years old by now) and fantasizing about having that type of man and that type of love, but without all the drama that happened in the movie. Yet there aren’t that many men like that out there, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But that requires that women change what their focus is, meaning that they should let go of the image that they think the love will come from. This is actually one of my favorite things about another one of my favorite movies “Gone With The Wind” but we’ll leave that for another post. Anyway, spending years looking for the artsy renaissance poet only cuts you off from a lot of guys, and it could cut you off from the perfect guy for you.

And that’s why I say that “Love Jones” has ruined an entire generation of women. There are so many chicks out there looking for one particular thing and passing up good guys, and even treating nice guys badly. And that just causes nice guys to treat nice girls badly, or even worse, swear off Black women all together. Even I’ve been guilty passing up perfectly nice guys because they weren’t “cool and artsy” enough. But I’m working on it.



3 Responses to "Another "Love Jones" blog post….I joined the club…"

Wow…..We’ve all been messed up by that Love Jones movie then because I know I’ve been passed up, and I know I’ve mistreated a nice guy or two because they’re nothing like the person I imagine being with. I can even see your connection with “Gone With the Wind”. Yes, two black women have watched “GWTW”, and I have actually read the novel. Splendid stuff.Deep thoughts, girlie.

Gurl, you are too right! Because, #1 I love me some love jones, I upgraded from VHS to DVD, ok? – and I am still looking for my Darius, dang!That poem just does something to me *devious smile*

I love <>love jones,<> but the onus is on the women who chose to use the male character(s) in that movie to serve as a template for the kind of man they’re looking for. It was a movie and, as real as it may have been, the ending was definitely atypical of how that situation would’ve played out had it actually happened. Folks need to stop basing their lives on what they see in media. Or, at the very least, temper it w/ huge doses of reality.

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Ever wanted to get into the mind of a young, single, professional Black woman? Well here's your chance. Travel with me on this journey called life as I try to find the elusive state of satisfaction...I promise, it'll be a fun time....
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